The badfic mounts on the Pit tonight
Not a goodfic to be seen
Every canon in devastation,
And Suethors screaming, "MEAN!1!!"

The minis growling like the badfic storm outside
Couldn't keep them down, no matter what we tried.

Take some Bleeprin, try not to snap
If we stop, then the canon's a wrap
Move on, don't stop, don't let them go
Well, here we go!

So just go, so just go
Exorcise every god and mortal
So just go, so just go
Then away through another portal!

I don't care
What the next fic will say
Let the Sues cry on,
We can't let them have this holiday.

It's "funny" how some badfics
Make everything taste like pain
And canon's breaking uncontrollably
I'm going to go insane!

Time to see what this fic'll do
What grammar rules that they'll break through
Just right the wrong, canon for me
Another fic slash-free!

So just go, so just go
Did she fall from the freaking sky?
So just go, so just go
All this badfic will make me cry.

Here I stand
Though I can't stay
And the Sues cry on

I rush to charge across this urple ground
Oh great, did they just break the speed of sound?
And one thought slams into me in a blast:
"Not another time-travel fic,
The past should stay the past!"

So just go, so just go
No time to sleep, no time to yawn
So just go, so just go
Yet another perfect girl is gone!

Here we stand
In the badfics' way
And the Sues cry on,
We can't let them have this holiday.