*Jennifer Robinson, a nurse, and Alex Bjørnsen, an intern, enter the Department of Fictional Psychology's foyer together from Unit C*

Jenni: Okay, Alex, you're new, so I have to teach you how things are done around here. That way's Unit A, where all the canon characters, recruits, and agents stay when badfic makes them lose their minds. You do your rounds and try to keep them from being more insane than they're supposed to be. Repeat after me...

|| I am a nurse in FicPsych, I work both night and day
|| And if you ask me why, then this is what I'll say:
|| Oh, FicPsych, FicPsych, FicPsych, for when they lose their way,
|| FicPsych, FicPsych, FicPsych, in FicPsych they all stay.

Now you try it!

*Alex mumbles something incoherent to the tune*

Head Nurse Suzine: *enters from Unit B* What the heck is this? Did some idiot summon that musical demon from the Buffyverse again?

Jenni: Relax, Suzine. I'm just teaching our young Alex about FicPsych. You should help!

Suzine: All right, learn this:

|| I'm Head Nurse in FicPsych
|| I work both night and day
|| And we're not in a musical,
|| So put your songs away!

Jenni: Oh, come on, killjoy!

Suzine:
|| Work, no time for games
|| Work, or down in flames.

|| J: FicPsych, FicPsych, FicPsych, for when they lose their way,
||     FicPsych, FicPsych, FicPsych, in FicPsych they all stay.
|| S: Work, no time for games
||     Work, or down in flames.

Nurse Elms: *enters from Unit A* Hey, what's going on? Are you guys singing? *snerk*

Suzine: Yes, and it's sooo productive. We should stand around and do this all day.

Elms: *guffaw* Sure, why not?

|| I'll try to make them sane
|| Then to the pub again.

|| J: Oh, FicPsych, FicPsych, FicPsych, for when they lose their way,
||     FicPsych, FicPsych, FicPsych, in FicPsych they all stay.
|| E: I'll try to make them sane
||     Then to the pub again.

*dramatic key-change!*

|| J: Oh, FicPsych, FicPsych, FicPsych, for when they lose their way,
||     FicPsych, FicPsych, FicPsych, in FicPsych they all stay.
|| E: I'll try to make them sane
||     Then to the pub again.
|| S: Work, no time for games
||     Work, or down in flames.

|| J: Oh, FicPsych, FicPsych, FicPsych, for when they lose their way,
||     FicPsych, FicPsych, FicPsych, in FicPsych they all stay.
|| E: I'll try to make them sane
||     Then to the pub again.
|| S: Work, no time for games
||     Work, or down in flames!

Nurse Nathonea Dewstan: *enters from Unit C* Hi, everyone!

J & E: Hi, Nath!

Nathonea: I think it's great that you're all singing together. You know a good ensemble piece can really propel a theme to new heights!

Suzine: Yes, we know, random musical numbers are just the best possible use of our time...

Nathonea:
|| Now when you learn to treat them with Bleeprin
|| You'll know, the nurses always win!

|| N: (Keep singing!) learn to treat them with Bleeprin
||     You'll know, the nurses always win!
|| S: Work, no time for games
||     Work, or down in flames!

*Nurse Loquacious Immac bounces in from Unit B, festooned with kittens*

Jenni: Oh, hey, Immie! Er...

Immac: *oblivious to the odd looks she's getting* Hi, everyone! Can I sing, too?!

Jenni: *shrugs* Sure!

|| I am a nurse in FicPsych, I work both night and day
|| And if you ask me why, then this is what I'll—

Everybody!

|| J: FicPsych, FicPsych, FicPsych, for when they lose their way,
||     FicPsych, FicPsych, FicPsych, in FicPsych they all stay.
|| E: I'll try to make them sane
||     Then to the pub again.
|| S: Work, no time for games
||     Work, or down in flames.
|| N: Now when you learn to treat them with Bleeprin
||     You'll know, the nurses always win!
|| I: Kitty-cats, they're so cute!
||     Soft and sweet, I love them!

|| J: FicPsych, FicPsych, FicPsych, for when they lose their way,
||     FicPsych, FicPsych, FicPsych, in FicPsych they all stay.
|| E: I'll try to make them sane
||     Then to the pub again.
|| S: Work, no time for games
||     Work, or down in flames!
|| N: 'Cos when you learn to treat them with Bleeprin
||     You'll know, the nurses always win!
|| I: Kitty-cats, they're so cute!
||     Soft and sweet, I love them!

*all but Immac stop, not quite sure what they're hearing*

Immac:
|| Kitty-cats, they're so cute!
|| Soft and sweet, I love them!
|| Kitty-cats, they're...

Hey, why'd everybody stop?

Jenni: Immie, we're singing about the department, for Alex.

Alex: *looks utterly bewildered*

Elms: And that doesn't even rhyme!

Immac: Oh, sorry. But we should totally have therapy kittens!

Suzine: We'll talk about this later, Nurse Immac!

|| J: Oh, FicPsych, FicPsych, FicPsych, for when they lose their way,
||     FicPsych, FicPsych, FicPsych, in FicPsych they all stay.
|| E: I'll try to make them sane
||     Then to the pub again.
|| S: Work, no time for games
||     Work, or down in flames.
|| N: Now when you learn to treat them with Bleeprin
||     You'll know, the nurses always win!
|| I: Kitty-cats, they're so cute!
||     Soft and sweet, I love them!

*another dramatic key-change!*

|| J: Oh, FicPsych, FicPsych, FicPsych, for when they lose their way,
||     FicPsych, FicPsych, FicPsych, in Fic-Psych-they-all-staaay!
|| E: I'll try to make them sane
||     Then to, to-the-pub-a-gaaain!
|| S: Work, no time for games
||     Work, or-we're-down-in-flaaames!
|| N: 'Cos when you learn to treat them with Bleeprin
||     You'll know, the nur-ses-al-ways-wiiin!
|| I: Kitty-cats, they're so cute!
||     Soft and sweet, kit-tens-I-love-youuu!