The first trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
...is M-A-R-Y S-U-E!

The second trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
Ruined canon,
...aaaaand M-A-R-Y S-U-E!

The third trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
Warped character,
Ruined canon,
...aaaaand M-A-R-Y S-U-E!

The fourth trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
Sickly urple prose,
Warped character,
Ruined canon,
...aaaaand M-A-R-Y S-U-E!

The fifth trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
Five extra Rings!
Sickly urple prose,
Warped character,
Ruined canon,
...aaaaand M-A-R-Y S-U-E!

The sixth trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
Suethors being idiots,
Five extra Rings!
How am I supposed to read all this?!
Warped character,
There's only nine members of the Fellowship! NINE!
...aaaaand M-A-R-Y S-U-E!

The seventh trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
Character Replacements,
Does she understand how this game works?!
Five extra Rings!
I'm gonna go blind from all this glitter!
Warped character,
Voldemort is Harry's uncle?!
...aaaaand M-A-R-Y S-U-E!

The eighth trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
Loads and loads of minis,
Character Replacements,
This bastard just can't take criticism!
Five extra Rings!
"A waterfall of gold sparks" ... That's her hair?!
Warped character,
PIKACHU NOOOOOOO!
...aaaaand M-A-R-Y S-U-E!

The ninth trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
Incorrect biology,
Loads and loads of minis,
Violet isn't a murderer!
You're just doing this for attention, aren't you?!
Five extra Rings!
HIS EYES! MY EYES! THEY BURN!!!
Starfire wouldn't do that! Never!
Ruined canon,
...aaaaand M-A-R-Y S-U-E!

The tenth trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
Kids born from M-Preg,
But Pit should've bled to death by now!
Where are they all coming from?!
Character Replacements,
Does she even READ the reviews?!
Five extra Rings!
Go wear less elaborate clothing!
Since when did Sora become such a smartass?!
Ruined canon,
...aaaaand M-A-R-Y S-U-E!

The eleventh trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
Rampaging fic trolls,
I thought women are the ones who have children!
WTF? Velociraptors don't have—
That's not how you spell Godzilla, you twat!
Zuko is NOT a sadistic nut!
Is this some kind of joke to him?!
Five extra Rings!
And lose the fancy jewelry, too!
Twilight Sparkle is NOT a prostitute!
Who put Death Mountain right next to Hyrule Castle Town?!
...aaaaand M-A-R-Y S-U-E!

The twelfth trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
Badly written shipping,
Seriously, who would write this crap?!
The baby's gonna be covered in—
A carnivore just can't live on a vegan diet!
Where did all these minis come from?!
Terminate with extreme prejudice.
How does it feel to have your fic sporked?!
Five extra Rings!
Tolkien would be rolling in his grave!
You know what, so would Rowling!
THAT'S IT! I'M MOVING TO THE MOON!!!
...aaaaand M-A-R-Y S-U-E!