I know of a department within the PPC
Whose agents delve into badfics to see what they can see
While trying not to fall victim to Sueish revelry:

O three cheers for the DoI!
DoI!
O three cheers for the DoI!

Department of Intelligence, without you we'd be lost!
We'd dive blindly into badfics — I shiver at the cost:
So many more agents into the looney bin we'd toss!

O three cheers for the DoI!
DoI!
O three cheers for the DoI!

How would we know what to expect — what we might hear and see?
How could we hope to save so many innocent OCs?
Without the DoI, this job would really get to me!

O three cheers for the DoI!
DoI!
O three cheers for the DoI!

So off you go, you spies unsung, to sniff out fics gone wrong,
And come back — safe, we hope — to pinpoint what does not belong!
And with your help, we'll all keep ev'ry canon safe and strong!

O three cheers for the DoI!
DoI!
O three cheers for the DoI!