An agent got run over by a Sue
Walking from the HQ Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Suethors
But as for the PPC, we believe

She'd been drinking too much Bleeprin
And forgot there was a Sue on the loose
But she'd left her weapons in her RC
So she walked out and the Sue ran her down like a moose

When they found her on Christmas mornin'
At the scene of the attack
There were heart marks stamped on her forehead
And incriminating sparkles on her back

An agent got run over by a Sue
Walking from the HQ Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Suethors
But as for the PPC, we believe

Now we're all so proud of her partner
She's been taking this so well
Killing off Sues by the dozens
And sending them off to Sue Hell

It's not Christmas without all the agents
(She's still stuck in the hospital ward)
They don't really wonder what to do, though
They sent her things to make her un-bored

An agent got run over by a Sue
Walking from the HQ Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Suethors
But as for the PPC, we believe

Now roast Sue is sitting on the table
Chocolate pudding is being passed around
And it's already Christmas
(And the agent's coming around)

We've warned all the other agents
Better watch out for yourselves
Because you never know when a Sue might escape
(Not to mention those cannibal elves)

An agent got run over by a Sue
Walking from the HQ Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Suethors
But as for the PPC, we believe.