We agents of the DMS
Have to fix a Mary Sue's mess
Weapons loaded, Sue imploded,
Canon can get some rest.

O, fic of horror, fic of fright
Fic with urple shining light
Badfic leading, still proceeding
Get the department that's right.

Born a boy to two human men
Slashers sigh; they've done it again
This forever, ceasing never
Will the bad slash please end?

O, fic of horror, fic of fright
Fic with urple shining light
Badfic leading, still proceeding
Get the department that's right.

From Implausible Crossovers, I
Mixing tales brings craziness nigh
Canon's homecoming, send Sues running
Sanity's gone to die.

O fic of horror, fic of fright
Fic with urple shining light
Badfic leading, still proceeding
Get the department that's right.

Floater am I, a somewhat stoic chap
Have to deal with all kinds of crap
Sueing, slashing, lover bashing
Give the fangirls a slap.

O, fic of horror, fic of fright
Fic with urple shining light
Badfic leading, still proceeding
Get the department that's right.

I work for the Marquis de Sod
Put recruits in couples quite odd
Archive writing, Suefic smiting
Send them off with a nod.

O, fic of horror, fic of fright
Fic with urple shining light
Badfic leading, still proceeding
Get the department that's right.