God rest ye, weary agents
The holiday is here
And yet you dread the beeping of
The console that lies near
For though this is a holiday
Your duties are still clear

So the agents never sleep
Never sleep
So the agents never sleep

Get off your lazy buttocks,
The Sunflower commands
There’s Sues on the horizon now;
I’ll play the call to arms.
In sending troops to battle
The Flower has no qualms

So the agents never sleep
Never sleep
So the agents never sleep

And so the agents march
Their footsteps crunching in the snow;
They hunt a Mary Sue to ground
And end her sordid show
Her author thought that she was safe
But now the world will know

That the agents never sleep
Never sleep
That the agents never sleep