Badfic Roasting on an Open Flame
Tune:"Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire" / "The Christmas Song" by Bob Wells and Mel Tormé

Badfic roasting on an open flame,
Flamers cackling in the night;
Fanbrats squeal, "OMG, ur so lame!"
And we say, "Yeah, they're kinda right."

Everybody knows that concrit and an open mind
Help to make a fanfic right;
Being mean, being truly unkind,
Will only tend to start a fight.

We know that badfic's there today
We know that lots of Mary Sues are on their way
And every canon's fan is gonna cry
And yet we smile—oh yes; I'll tell you why:

Because the agents of the PPC,
Action, and Infrastructure, too,
Although it is strange, they greet badfic with glee
And make goodfic out of badfic—yes, make goodfic for you.