What maid is this, who laid to rest
On Leggy's lap is sleeping?
Who thinks her voice is oh so sweet
And Aragorn's heart is keeping?

This, this, is Mary Sue
Whom agents hunt and canons rue
Haste, haste, to melt her Ring
It should not be existing

Why lies she here in the Prince's keep
When he is wearily sighing?
So irritating, even in sleep
She'll keep Boromir from dying

"What shall we do with this perfect chick
Whose death is now a sure thing?"
"I say we shoot her, nice and quick!"
"Something more evil, I'm thinking...."

What maid is this who laid to rest
In Shelob's lair is sleeping?
An arrow through her perfect chest
But she is yet breathing....

This, this, was Mary Sue
Tried to shag Estel (and Leggy too)
But now she's dead, and we're all so glad
For her lack of commas was truly sad....