|Tune:||Messiah by George Frideric Handel|
And now, ladies, gentlemen, and beings, the Caffeine Overload Symphony and the All-HQ Choir, under the conduction of Agent Handel (not to be confused with that other guy), present to you selections from "The Mary Sue."
No. 4. Chorus: And the urple of the Sue
And the urple of the Sue shall be revealèd, and all fandom shall see it together, for the word of the Sue hath spoken it.
No. 7. Chorus: And she shall corrupt all
And she shall corrupt all the characters of Canon, that they may offer unto the Sue an offering in OOCness.
No. 8. Recitative: Behold, a console, it shall beep
Behold, a console, it shall beep, and bear reports, and shall call the fic BADFIC, Sue with us.
No. 9. Air and Chorus: O thou that tellest bad tidings to Agents
O thou that tellest bad tidings to Agents, turn thee up unto the high volume; O thou that tellest bad tidings to all Headquarters, turn up thy beeps with speed; turn them up, be not afraid; say unto the RCs of HQ, Behold the Sue! Report, yell, for the Fic is come, and the urple of the Sue is written upon thee.
No. 12. Chorus: For unto us a Fic is sent
For unto us a Fic is sent, unto us a Mission is given, and the work of it shall be upon our shoulders: and its name shall be callèd Uncanon, OOC, the Mary Sue, the Expletive Deleted, the Worst of Fic.
No. 16. Recitative: And suddenly there was in the RC
And suddenly there was in the RC a multitude of the loudest swears cursing Sues, and saying:
No. 17. Chorus: Death to the Sue
Death to the Sue the most painful, a kill for us, Bleeprin for all men.
No. 19. Recitative: Then shall the coordinates be programmed
Then shall the coordinates be programmed, and the worst of the fic be entered; then shall the charge list grow rapidly, and the list shall be read aloud.
No. 20. Chorus: Our swords are deadly
Our swords are deadly, and our arrows are sharp.
No. 44. Chorus: Hallelujah
HALLELUJAH! for the True Canon once again reigneth.
The kingdom of the Sue is become the kingdom of Canon, and of its Words: and she is dead for ever and ever.
SUE OF SUES, is DEAD DEAD DEAD, HALLELUJAH!