Canon got screwed over by a Suvian
Just after the new movie's release,
You can say there's always badfic for it,
Unless the author calls desist and cease

She'd been watching it on TV,
And we'd prayed she'd stay at home,
But she'd forgot her inhibition
And she shoved herself into her favorite tome

When we found her latest fanfic,
At a major canon scene,
They were groveling by the dozens,
At least the ones who hadn't turned an envious green

Canon got screwed over by a Suvian
Now that we just got the newest book,
You can say there's always badfic for it,
And if you don't believe, just take a look

Now we're all so proud of Weasley,
Who's been resisting her load,
See him grumping 'round with Gimli,
Heckling Mary and her friends with good Gaspode

It's not canon with her presence,
All the canons dressed in bleen,
And we just can't help but wonder,
Which should we first extract: her heart, or spleen?
(Take her spleen!)

Canon got screwed over by a Suvian
Due to the arrival of that new game,
You can say there's always badfic for it,
Mary Sues like her, they're all the same

Now the charges are on the notepad
And the weapons, sharp as tacks
We are getting in position
To take her down and bring the canons back

I've warned all my fellow authors,
"Better look at what you write,"
You could use a second opinion
If your character never loses a single fight

Canon got screwed over by a Suvian
Since the latest work is now in store,
You can say there's always badfic for it,
And cleaning after it's always a chore

(Sing it, authors!)

Canon got screwed over by a Suvian
Here it is online for all to see,
You can say there's always badfic for it,
Because we've all been there, take it from meeeeee-eeeee-eeeeeeeeee!