Dashing through the snow, our quarry sprints away
O'er the fic we go, laughing all the way (HA HA HA!)
Swords on Sue-necks ring, making spirits bright
What fun it is to run and sing a slaying song tonight!

Oh, console yells, Bleeprin quells, partner's gone insane,
Flow'rs That Be won't talk to me and never give me pay—hey!
Console yells, Bleeprin quells, partner's gone insane,
Oh what fun it is to be in the PPC today!

A call or two ago, a mission we did find
The console was aglow, calling us to mind (BEEP BEEP BEEP!)
Poor Frodo's eyes were blank; the Sue thought she was smart
We charged her near a river bank and shot her through the heart!

Oh, console yells, Bleeprin quells, partner's gone insane,
Flow'rs That Be won't talk to me and never give me pay—hey!
Console yells, Bleeprin quells, partner's gone insane,
Oh what fun it is to be in the PPC today!
Oh what fun it is to be in the P-P-C to-day!