To: The Kudzu [kudzu.console3101ps94394fp42865.rcC-1.FICPSYCH]
From: Suzine Sachs [ssachs.console3103ps94394fp42865.rcC-3.FICPSYCH]
CC: Department of Fictional Psychology [FICPSYCH]
Subject: RE. Proposal (What do we look like, a pet shop?)

They're kidding, right? Kittens? How are we supposed to find the space, the time, the supplies...? We're stretched thin as it is. Can't they just go to the CAF Adoption Agency?

Suzine Sachs, Head Nurse

To: Suzine Sachs [ssachs.console3103ps94394fp42865.rcC-3.FICPSYCH]
From: Dr. Freedenberg [pfreedenberg.console3102ps94394fp42865.rcC-2.FICPSYCH]
CC: Department of Fictional Psychology [FICPSYCH]
Subject: RE. re. Proposal (What do we look like, a pet shop?)

Suzine,

Hm, you're quite right. We are not currently equipped for such an undertaking. Perhaps if we cleared out room B-2. I shall have to give it some thought. I'll ask Frank to look into it, as well.

- Dr. Freedenberg

To: Dr. Freedenberg [pfreedenberg.console3102ps94394fp42865.rcC-2.FICPSYCH]
From: Loquacious Immac [limmac.console3113ps94394fp42865.rcC-13.FICPSYCH]
CC: Department of Fictional Psychology [FICPSYCH]
Subject: RE. re. re. Proposal (What do we look like, a pet shop?)

KITTIES! :D :D :D I can help! Can this please be my job? I love kitties! This is a great idea! Who doesn't love kitties?!

:D

-- Immie

To: Loquacious Immac [limmac.console3113ps94394fp42865.rcC-13.FICPSYCH]
From: Suzine Sachs [ssachs.console3103ps94394fp42865.rcC-3.FICPSYCH]
CC: Department of Fictional Psychology [FICPSYCH]
Subject: Wait, what?

Immac, nothing's been decided yet!

Phil, cut me some slack here. Immac aside, nobody has time for this. Also, I'm allergic.

Suzine Sachs, Head Nurse

To: Suzine Sachs [ssachs.console3103ps94394fp42865.rcC-3.FICPSYCH]
From: Jennifer Robinson [jrobinson.console3114ps94394fp42865.rcC-14.FICPSYCH]
CC: Department of Fictional Psychology [FICPSYCH]
Subject: RE. Wait, what?

I don't know about the rest of us, but I can spare fifteen minutes for cats in my day. I like the idea. It would be nice for the agents, and what's more, it would be nice for us, too. Henry would love it.

~Jenni

To: Jennifer Robinson [jrobinson.console3114ps94394fp42865.rcC-14.FICPSYCH]
From: Castor Parwill [cparwill.console3126ps94394fp42865.rcC-26.FICPSYCH]
CC: Department of Fictional Psychology [FICPSYCH]
Subject: RE. re. Wait, what?

I wouldn't mind helping, either. =)

- Parwill

To: Castor Parwill [cparwill.console3126ps94394fp42865.rcC-26.FICPSYCH]
From: Elms [esssaffron.console3120ps94394fp42865.rcC-20.FICPSYCH]
CC: Department of Fictional Psychology [FICPSYCH]
Subject: RE. re. re. Wait, what?

I'm in. Though if you ask me, cats are all evil geniuses plotting to take over the world just as soon as they're done hawking up that hairball in your best pair of boots. Should come with a warning. "CAUTION: Kittens May Contain Evil."

Didn't someone have a mad scientist kitten?

"WARNING: Kittens May Contain Mad Science."

--Elms

To: Elms [esssaffron.console3120ps94394fp42865.rcC-20.FICPSYCH]
From: Loquacious Immac [limmac.console3113ps94394fp42865.rcC-13.FICPSYCH]
CC: Department of Fictional Psychology [FICPSYCH]
Subject: RE. re. re. re. Wait, what?

Haha!

-- Immie

To: Loquacious Immac [limmac.console3113ps94394fp42865.rcC-13.FICPSYCH]
From: Suzine Sachs [ssachs.console3103ps94394fp42865.rcC-3.FICPSYCH]
CC: Department of Fictional Psychology [FICPSYCH]
Subject: Fine.

All right, it seems I'm outnumbered. Immac, I'm holding you to your offer of taking charge of this thing. We'll talk about scheduling cat duties in tomorrow's meeting.

Suzine Sachs, Head Nurse

And that's how FicPsych got therapy cats.

This was originally composed on the Board in response to Astral Void's question:

Is there any reason why FicPsych could not use kittens as a way of relieving stress, tension and anger in suitable patients?

(Note that I said suitable- God knows I wouldn't give a kitten to Luxury.)

A bunch of other Boarders replied in support of the idea, so I started imagining how the nurses would respond, and this happened. The thread has fallen off the Board, so now this ficlet is here for posterity.