It's Christmas in Headquarters
There's swearing in the air
The consoles are beeping 'cause the agents were all sleeping
While the Sue raid sirens blare

It's Christmas in Headquarters
The canon has been breached
And Mary Sue just has to do
An epic deathbed speech

Everywhere the f-bombs are a-dropping
It's the end of all our sanity
Into bed the characters are hopping
It's time somebody called the PPC

It's Christmas in Headquarters
There's a Ypur in the hall
We can cope with slash if we smile and bash
Our heads against the wall

[Marquis de Sod (spoken)]
Well, your first mission is only a few hours away now.
I'm sure you're all looking forward to it.
Now go away.

You might see some squicky things on missions
Like Legolas molesting Aragorn
But if your stomach’s climbing up your throat then
You’d better get some Bleeprin for this porn

It's Christmas in Headquarters
And if the glitter saturation's okay
We will go fix all the geographical
Aberrations on New Year's Day

It's Christmas in Headquarters
Ten chapters left to go
I'll swear and curse at the horrible verse
'Cause my Bleepka level’s low

It's Christmas in Headquarters
Now the agents are on their way
It will make you puke, while your brain gets nuked
On this jolly holiday

It will make you puke, while your brain gets nuked
On this jolly holiday!